It's Fall
The noise and business of summer is over now, and we just finished Independence Day weekend. What was great was the American style barbecue we made to celebrate. We didn't see any fireworks, though. I miss fireworks, especially the ones from my home on Lopez Island, WA.
Sometimes I get so discouraged trying to learn Spanish, there are so many colloquialisms that I don't get and just like someone trying to learn English, I learn a word but when someone speaks to me, they use a synonym so I just stand there looking stupid. Sometimes I just give up for a while and refuse to speak any Spanish at all; when the feeling of rebellion passes I start again, and surprisingly, I've inadvertantly learned more words somehow.
The nights are getting cooler, which is great. I do miss the mist and the changing weather of my home, the fresh air and the quiet of my island. We live on a very noisy street that has 24/7 traffic; it's promising to get busier too, since we now have a Costco about two miles down the road and in the same vicinity is going to be a huge supermarket; across the street the land is being cleared for a Home Depot and a Wal-Mart.
I have to say I love Costco here. After a year without much exposure to things from home, seeing the Kirkland brand name here makes me smile. I never felt that back home, where there was a Costco every three blocks (or so it seemed).
I also have a family that has "adopted" me. These are people who have horses at the same ranch as mine, but they own 100 acres next door and are in the planning stages of their own equine facility where my horses will eventually be. It is a wonderful family and a big family. My new mother's name is Esperanza; she now calls me "hija" ("daughter"). She is a wonderful woman, very warm, loving, brilliant of mind. She raised two beautiful children (now adults in their 30's) and on Saturday I finally got to meet my other (also adopted, like me) new brother whom I had not met before. They are so loving, when they introduce me to other family members, they say, "and this is your neice...this is your nephew...this is your cousin..." and embraces all around. It is like something from a beautiful book. And I feel the love of these people for me; an adoption is no light thing, they mean it! So from now on I am to address Experanza as "Mamita" or "Mama" or "Ama." I am not allowed to call her anything else.
Soon I am going to haul my Spanish books over to her house and learn Spanish from her. She lives alone, her husband died some years ago. I promised my new siblings that I would stop in and take her places and that if anything ever happened I'd be there in a heartbeat. Since all of them work and I work from home, it just makes sense, and it feels good that my new brothers and sister won't have to worry.
I must tell you about my new sister Connie...she is awesome! A Sagittarius like me, she is (thankfully) bilingual, very pretty, and very smart. She also has a wicked sense of humor, and there isn't a day that she somehow doesn't make me laugh. She loves horses as much as I do, and we share the common childhood trait of dragging home every stray animal we ever found.
She has two little girls, Paulette (age 5) and Chantal (age 3). They are not girlie-girls, these kids love to get dirty and play hard. Paulette is in love with a horse at the ranch named Perico, who is her lesson horse. My own history is repeating itself as I look at the loving bond between horse and girl, Paulette saving every penny she has to buy him. I had done the same with my first horse Pretty Boy, who was my first lesson horse. Thank God Perico isn't older than God like Pretty Boy was.
Connie's husband Leopoldo works in Tijuana and the family lives in (very) southern California. They all come down every weekend to visit the ranch, ride horses, have cookouts and visit.
I am very fortunate. Being a stranger in a strange land even before I came to Mexico steeled my mind and heart against loneliness to a degree, but to have unconditional acceptance is such a treasure. My new family is a bunch of angels.
So there's the update. Things are changing and I am changing along with them.
Have you ever noticed that as we grow older we shift from one mind set to another as circumstances demand? Possibly we form mental and emotional coping tools through out lives and when the need arises, we open the toolbox and use the tool we've used before. But I feel, inside, more lateral shifting than actual "growth." I don't want my mind to close, but I don't want any more shocks either. Of course there will be some. Yet a part of me still feels numb from past shocks. Almost as if it is sleeping; maybe it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Being awake is too much work. But I feel very safe in the arms of my new family. It is a safety that I haven't known since I was very small.
Sometimes I get so discouraged trying to learn Spanish, there are so many colloquialisms that I don't get and just like someone trying to learn English, I learn a word but when someone speaks to me, they use a synonym so I just stand there looking stupid. Sometimes I just give up for a while and refuse to speak any Spanish at all; when the feeling of rebellion passes I start again, and surprisingly, I've inadvertantly learned more words somehow.
The nights are getting cooler, which is great. I do miss the mist and the changing weather of my home, the fresh air and the quiet of my island. We live on a very noisy street that has 24/7 traffic; it's promising to get busier too, since we now have a Costco about two miles down the road and in the same vicinity is going to be a huge supermarket; across the street the land is being cleared for a Home Depot and a Wal-Mart.
I have to say I love Costco here. After a year without much exposure to things from home, seeing the Kirkland brand name here makes me smile. I never felt that back home, where there was a Costco every three blocks (or so it seemed).
I also have a family that has "adopted" me. These are people who have horses at the same ranch as mine, but they own 100 acres next door and are in the planning stages of their own equine facility where my horses will eventually be. It is a wonderful family and a big family. My new mother's name is Esperanza; she now calls me "hija" ("daughter"). She is a wonderful woman, very warm, loving, brilliant of mind. She raised two beautiful children (now adults in their 30's) and on Saturday I finally got to meet my other (also adopted, like me) new brother whom I had not met before. They are so loving, when they introduce me to other family members, they say, "and this is your neice...this is your nephew...this is your cousin..." and embraces all around. It is like something from a beautiful book. And I feel the love of these people for me; an adoption is no light thing, they mean it! So from now on I am to address Experanza as "Mamita" or "Mama" or "Ama." I am not allowed to call her anything else.
Soon I am going to haul my Spanish books over to her house and learn Spanish from her. She lives alone, her husband died some years ago. I promised my new siblings that I would stop in and take her places and that if anything ever happened I'd be there in a heartbeat. Since all of them work and I work from home, it just makes sense, and it feels good that my new brothers and sister won't have to worry.
I must tell you about my new sister Connie...she is awesome! A Sagittarius like me, she is (thankfully) bilingual, very pretty, and very smart. She also has a wicked sense of humor, and there isn't a day that she somehow doesn't make me laugh. She loves horses as much as I do, and we share the common childhood trait of dragging home every stray animal we ever found.
She has two little girls, Paulette (age 5) and Chantal (age 3). They are not girlie-girls, these kids love to get dirty and play hard. Paulette is in love with a horse at the ranch named Perico, who is her lesson horse. My own history is repeating itself as I look at the loving bond between horse and girl, Paulette saving every penny she has to buy him. I had done the same with my first horse Pretty Boy, who was my first lesson horse. Thank God Perico isn't older than God like Pretty Boy was.
Connie's husband Leopoldo works in Tijuana and the family lives in (very) southern California. They all come down every weekend to visit the ranch, ride horses, have cookouts and visit.
I am very fortunate. Being a stranger in a strange land even before I came to Mexico steeled my mind and heart against loneliness to a degree, but to have unconditional acceptance is such a treasure. My new family is a bunch of angels.
So there's the update. Things are changing and I am changing along with them.
Have you ever noticed that as we grow older we shift from one mind set to another as circumstances demand? Possibly we form mental and emotional coping tools through out lives and when the need arises, we open the toolbox and use the tool we've used before. But I feel, inside, more lateral shifting than actual "growth." I don't want my mind to close, but I don't want any more shocks either. Of course there will be some. Yet a part of me still feels numb from past shocks. Almost as if it is sleeping; maybe it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Being awake is too much work. But I feel very safe in the arms of my new family. It is a safety that I haven't known since I was very small.
posted by Triana Elan @ 10:12 AM
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