Saturday Night Belongs to Idiots

The following just happened last night and I am being lazy by copying an email I wrote to a friend after it happened...DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Okay so here I am, coming home from my English lesson
and a visit with my student/friend and her husband. I
stopped at a little convenience store on our block to
get ciggies and this stupid ass in a big car pulls in
behind me after honking madly at me while I was trying
to park. I ignored the idiot, parked and went in the
store. I came out and there was his car, blocking me,
and NO ONE IN HIS CAR. He hadn't gone into the store
either!!! Well finally I saw him get in his car and he
just SAT THERE taking his time and I got impatient and
started my engine. He didn't move so I put my truck
into reverse and he was parked so close to me, about
1" away that just the movement of my putting the truck
into gear touched his car. Well!!! He gets out of the
car and comes to my truck and immediately my
adrenaline starts. I got Zoila on my Nextel radio (we
only live at the other end of the block) and told her
what was going on.

The guy said to me something like "What is your
problem?" I said, "I want to leave!!!" He reached in
and punched me in the chest...not hard but enough to
REALLY PISS ME OFF. I still had the radio button open
and I yelled at him, "NO TOCARME!" (DON'T TOUCH ME!)
Well Zoila freaked out at that point and was on her
way to the little store. In the meantime the guy had
gotten back into his car and I was so damned mad I got
out of my truck, SLAMMED MY DOOR and went up to his
car. He quickly rolled up his window and locked his
door but his back window was down so I reached in and
grabbed the back of his neck. Well, then another guy
came up to me asking me to calm down and I kept
yelling "THIS ASSHOLE TOUCHED ME!!" the guy took off
in his car and guess what, I wasn't done yet! I
followed him...Zoila saw his car roaring down the
street to the gas station next door, and me roaring
past her in my truck. There she was, standing on the
sidewalk trying to flag me down and I just blew past
her HAHAHAHAHAHA

So the guy didn't know I was following him!!! He went
into the gas station as if to use their driveway to
turn around (I wonder if that whole time he was trying
to run away???) and I pulled up and blocked his
way!!!! Well that scared the piss out of him so he
went tearing out of the gas station, tires squealing,
and he hit a dirt road and started to fishtail. The
road was dark and I wasn't about to follow him and by
now a crowd had gathered at the gas station. I told
Zoila on the radio where I was (right next door) and
here at the house they could hear the guy's tires
squealing all over the place.

He came back to the gas station and tried to block me
in so I let him think I was going to smash his car, I
slammed into first and hit the gas and brakes at the
same time. OH MY GOD he peeled off and went blasting
down the street, away from me!!!!!! And that was the
end of it.

This was all very stupid and dangerous for me to do
but damn it, YOU DO NOT HIT AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO HAS
PMS!!!!!!!!

At the end of it all I was shaking and angry and was
taken in by my little family here, given a Diet Coke
to cool off and lots of hugs. Then we called our best
friend and told her about it, at my request. She
laughed so hard! But then admonished me for being in a
situation like that in the first place and told me
never to do it again. I said I didn't really want to
repeat it. But she also said she was very proud of me
for scaring the little pissant.